STOP BUYING ALKALINE WATER

You already have a bloody filter in your body!

Companies shoving alkaline filters and dispensers ought to be waterboarded.

It’s a pancreas, not a dick. Illustration by Bruce Blaus.

Because our blood is slightly alkaline at a pH of 7.4 (< 7 is acidic, > 7 is alkaline), some crystal-loving people think we need to eat alkaline foods, and that includes drinking water with a high pH.

They claim that alkaline water of a pH of 8 and above will help boost your immune system, improve digestion, prevent cancer, and make you live forever.

It’s ludicrous! Whatever we eat or drink passes through the stomach, which, at a pH of 1.5, would render everything acidic. It is then neutralised to a pH of 7 by our pancreas before entering the small intestine. In short, we already have an inbuilt alkaline filter.

No alkaline filter or dispenser can ever change the pH of our blood. More so, drinking alkaline water may even harm us as it can interfere with the absorption of medication, cause diarrhoea, and even increase the risk of kidney stones.

There is zero evidence on the benefits of alkaline water. Stop throwing your money on alkaline water and diets. Unless you want to die young and broke.